The one and only time Ava was actually okay with Santa! As she got older, her anxiety around anyone in a costume grew a lot. By the time Christmas, Easter, or Halloween rolls around, we can’t even step into the shops. So, we keep her at home where she feels safe, in her little protective bubble.

This Christmas, it’s okay to not do everything you see on social media.

It’s perfectly fine to adapt the holiday to suit your family’s needs, even if that means doing things differently from the “traditional” Christmas. Maybe it’s chicken nuggets and chips instead of a roast, or maybe you have five different dinners to accommodate everyone’s preferences. That’s okay.

For some children, the excitement and busyness of Christmas can be overwhelming. My child is one of those, so we’ve found ways to spread the joy across December rather than trying to cram everything into one day. Some presents aren’t even wrapped! Just out there, plonked by the tree ready to enjoy. It works for us and helps reduce anxiety. 

If the idea of Santa coming into your house is stressful, don’t worry. We leave a polite note asking him to leave the presents just inside the front door—or, in our case, the back door! Over the years, I’ve learnt that it’s okay to do things differently. My child actually prefers it this way.

We don’t visit Santa or write letters. We eat lots of chocolate and sausage rolls, and we skip Christmas Eve boxes. The suspense of gifts is high enough that only one or two are surprises. Wrapping, noise, textures, and anticipation can be overwhelming, so we take it slow. One year, we even had a buffet for Christmas dinner and it was much less stressful!

For a few years, I felt a lot of guilt for not doing all the “magical” Christmas things. Our festive season looked so different from everyone else’s, and I worried that my child was missing out. But she wasn’t—she was having the most magical time, just in our own unique way. And to me, that has always felt incredibly special.

What works for one family may not work for yours. That’s okay. The key is finding your own rhythm and traditions. Christmas should be enjoyable, not stressful. If that means doing things differently, then do it.

After all, the magic of Christmas isn’t what everyone else may be, it’s in the joy, comfort, and love your family shares in a way that works for you.

Lauren x